Book Review: Beautiful Bastard by Christina Lauren

 

Title: Beautiful Bastard
Author(s): Christina Lauren
Genre(s): Contemporary, Romance - Erotica
Publisher/Date: Gallery Books / February 12, 2013
Series: Beautiful Bastard (Book #1)

"Something in our relationship was shifting, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it No matter how many times we said it never happen again, it would. I was terrified that this man, who was all wrong for me, had more control over my body than I did, no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise. I didn't want to be the woman who sacrified her ambitions for a man.“ -Chloe Mills

Case Study

An ambitious intern.
A perfectionist executive.
And a whole lot of name calling.

Whip-smart, hardworking, and on her way to an MBA, Chloe Mills has only one problem: her boss, Bennett Ryan. He's exacting, blunt, inconsiderate—and completely irresistible. A Beautiful Bastard.

Bennett has returned to Chicago from France to take a vital role in his family's massive media business. He never expected that the assistant who'd been helping him from abroad was the gorgeous, innocently provocative—completely infuriating—creature he now has to see every day. Despite the rumors, he's never been one for a workplace hookup. But Chloe's so tempting he's willing to bend the rules—or outright smash them—if it means he can have her. All over the office.

As their appetites for one another increase to a breaking point, Bennett and Chloe must decide exactly what they're willing to lose in order to win each other. (synopsis from Goodreads)

The Game's Afoot

Let me just preface this review with the following statement: never did I ever imagine I'd read erotica, and not just any erotica, but erotic FAN-FICTION. I've never really understood the appeal. I had friends who read 50 Shades of Grey and barely made it out alive so my plan was to stay far, far away from the genre. But look at me now. I'm reading erotica and I LIKE it. Yep. Go me!

Beautiful Bastard was just the sort of mindless entertainment I was looking for. It's the story of willful, career-oriented Chloe Mills and the sadistically sexual relationship she has with her asshole boss, Bennett Ryan. Let me sum up the general gist of their relationship for you:

In other words, it's SO not healthy!

Yeah. Not good. And where I imagine in most other erotic fiction, this is considered sexy, to me, not so much. Then again, this isn't your typical erotica. The key difference is that Chloe Mills is a dominant, strong-willed and career oriented kind of woman. When she enters into this sick relationship with her boss, her legitimate concerns don't fly out the window, it's not all about the guy. She is her own person and she never loses sight of that. And where Bennett initially holds all the cards, the power shifts over the course of the book and ends up in Chloe's hands. I won't go as far as to say this is the deepest story I've ever read, but there is more substance than what I initially expected.

Beautiful Bastard's roots come from Twilight. That's right. It's Twilight fan-fiction. And where I can certainly see the parallels now, it doesn't smack you in the face as being a total ripoff either. Honestly, if you didn't tell me, I probably wouldn't have even known which is a good thing.

But what you're probably wondering about most is the sex, because it is erotic.

Between fitting room romps, panty-hoarding and blue balls, it's hot. Rather, it starts off hot but slowly transitions from just sex to love. Beautiful Bastard is smexy, deliciously trashy and a whole lotta fun. And after pulling a 60 hour work week, it was just the kind fluff I needed. I certainly enjoyed the story, which goes to show you, don't judge a book by its genre.

Summary Prognosis

Beautiful Bastard surprised me---partly because I never thought I'd enjoy erotica but mostly because the content actually wasn't bad. The writing was decent, the story was hella entertaining and the smexy parts were kinda hot. Kinda, It's one of those stories you pick up because you know you're not going to have to think, and despite all that, you still walk away feeling oddly satisfied (in more ways than one). WINK WINK.


Rating: ★★★½


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Movie Review: Encino Man by Les Mayfield

Title: Encino Man
Director(s): Les Mayfield
Genre(s): Comedy
Rating: PG
Release Date (USA): May 22, 1992

"The truth is bro, life's about greasing the 'do back, buddy, and wheezin' on the buff-fest, man. High school was interesting, alright? It was kinda like a harsh ride. Ah, ah...[howls twice]"-Stoney

Over the weekend I decided to throw a blast from the past movie marathon. I'd kick back and take on some of my favourite late 80's/early 90's movies to see if they still entertained me as much now as they did when I was a kid. The movie that made the top of this list: Encino Man. Let me give you a brief refresher:
 
Dave Morgan (Sean Astin) is a high school senior. He also happens to be a loser who's in love with the most popular girl in school (Megan Ward). When he's not pining for Robyn, Dave hangs out with his eclectic BFF Stoney (Pauly Shore). The struggling duo are determined to climb the social ladder (and get the girl) before graduation. How, you may ask? Only by throwing the most legendary of after-prom parties Encino High has ever seen. All Dave and Stoney need now is the pièce de résistance: a bad-ass in-ground pool. Only it isn't the pool that will catapault these two dudes into the Senior spotlight. Enter Link (Brendan Frasier), the Encino Man, aka the coolest kid in school.

Encino Man is one of those aged movies that never really hit it big and has long since been forgotten but I've had very fond memories of it so I was terrified it would lose its appeal after so many years. Fortunately for me, my nostalgia was well founded. This movie was one a childhood favourite and I'm happy to report that, even after 20+  years, it still doesn't disappoint. And the more I think about it, I never truly appreciated its cult-like status as much as I do now.
 

Source

While on the surface, Encino Man is unrevolutionary in that it's everything you'd expect from a 90's-era Pauly Shore film. But if you look a little deeper you'll unearth a keen satire about popularity in high school. I mean, c'mon. The idea that a Cro-Magnon Man could become the coolest kid in school is pretty funny, probably because it's almost believable. And of course there will always be the naysayers who throw the plot's plausibility to the wind, but to them I say, "SHOOSH!" 

Am I saying this movie remotely accurate? Not at all. But do I care? No way!

Though the initial premise is every bit as silly as it sounds, there's also an unexpected sweetness that makes it surprisingly deep. One wouldn't expect a cave man to be deep, but he is. He manages to teach modern day man humility, compassion and the true meaning of friendship. And boiled down, that's really what this movie is all about. Sure, it comes across as dated but I really don't think that detracted at all from the entertainment value. In fact, it actually served to enhance the movie's rad quality. Yeah, there might be a few overtly 90's cliches but they're altogether spot on and fun.  

Another thing that I really appreciated about Encino Man was the wholesomeness of the comedy and the chemistry between the cast. Pre-hobbit Sean Astin and pro-goofball Pauly Shore make quite the dynamic duo and play off one another well. Their friendship in the movie is reminiscent of a Bill and Ted or a Wayne and Garth. Astin does serious like Shore does zany and it just works. And then there's the spectacular debut of Brendan Fraiser as the Cro-Magnon Man, Link. He's limber and animalistic and funny and simple and understanding and probably the most human person in the entire film. You seriously can't take your eyes off him.

See! HUBBA HUBBA!

Frasier, without a doubt, is the heart and soul of Encino Man. So yeah, the film might not be anything super revolutionary but it sure is a whole lotta fun. And really, isn't that all anyone can ask for?

Summary Prognosis

Encino Man is a simple 90's film with a lot of era-specific spirit. While you won't necessarily find anything revolutionary here, you will find spunk and humour and heart. This movie has lesser known a cult-following and is sure to please fans of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Wayne's World. It was always a childhood favourite of mine and still is, even after two decades. At the very least, it'll be a good guilty pleasure film.


Rating: ★★★★★


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Movie Review: A Good Day To Die Hard by John Moore

Title: A Good Day To Die Hard
Director(s): John Moore
Genre(s): Action, Crime, Thriller
Rating: R
Release Date (USA): February 14, 2013

"Ah, no! No, no, no! You're not gonna open up to me before we die! That's not your thing, John!" - John McClane Jr.

Just when you thought McClane had yippee-ki-yay'd his way out of police work, he manages to battle his way back from retirement, only this time his problems are a bit more international. After traveling to Moscow to help his wayward son, Jack (Jai Courtney), John winds up knee deep in a nuclear weapons heist. It's up to the two McClanes to put aside their differences and prevent a global outbreak of war. Add in Russian politicos, the underground crime scene and a dash of Chernobyl and you've got yourself quite the awesomely bad vacation.

A Good Day To Die Hard is one of those awesomely bad action movies that's a mix of old school heroics and modern day technologies. But before I get into my review let me start by saying, this movie is really made for die hard fans of the Die Hard series. While it might be passable for something produced in the late 80's/early 90's, it would never fly past today's high standards. You really need to go into the movie with low/no expectations in order to come out satisfied because, in a word, it's ridiculous. I feel like each Die Hard movie is a little more over-the-top than its predecessor and now that we're on the 5th one, you can only imagine what that might entail. Exploding helicopters, massive car/tank chases through the busy streets of Moscow and expertly orchestrated prison breaks. You know, just a normal days work for the McClane family.

Bruce Willis delivers all the iconic McClane lines and executes them with his trademarked squint and snarky attitude. And for a man of 57, you have to appreciate how he can still kick some serious ass. He embodies everything we come to expect from John McClane: the stubbornness, sarcasm and a take-charge now ask questions later method. What was lacking though was the father-son dynamic between him and Jack. Their relationship is anything but engaging and borders on frustratingly repetitive and hollow. I liked Jai Courtney well enough for an action guy but I just wasn't buying him as McClane Jr. Their relationship fluctuates between stony and warm fuzzies with little progression in between.

As far as the cinematography goes, Moore had a more artistic vision in this film with slow-mo sequencing and well-framed shots, but I felt like for this type of movie, it didn't really work. Often it felt out of place, unnecessary and, at times, comical. I'm sorry but I'm there f or the action, not the art direction. What really worked in this movie, though, was the location. The change in scenery felt fresh and interesting. Sure, some of the old Russian communism "us versus them" mentality remains, but it works for all intensive purposes. I felt like they were able to get away with a lot of the outrageous action specifically because of the setting. It was in, no way, believable but I don't think it should be. All in all, A Good Day To Die Hard isn't the best action movie I've seen, but it's not the worst either. It hits all the marks of the traditional Die Hard film with all the cheesetastic, explosive, wry action that you could want. If you're looking for awesomely bad, then you've found it. Let's just hope that the franchise follows fast in McClane's footsteps and considers a long, hard retirement.

Summary Prognosis

While nowhere as perfect as the original, A Good Day To Die Hard contains all the elements essential to make it a decent addition to the high-octane Die Hard saga. It's got a ridiculous plot, over-the-top action sequences, cheesy one-liners and a whole lot of yippee-ki-yaying which are essential to keep the 80's actiony feel. And while I did get a kick out of the movie, I can only hope that this was the end of an era and they let John McClane's adventures stop here. Because this series needs a good way to die hard and this movie is it.


Rating: ★★½ 


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Movie Review: Bad Ass by Craig Moss

Title: Bad Ass
Director(s): Craig Moss
Genre(s): Action, Drama
Rating: R
Release Date: April 13, 2012

" Bad ass. It's what they're callin' him." –Panther

War. It doesn't just affect those who fight while they're fighting it. For the Vietnam veterans, post-war is one of the biggest battles of all. Decorated war hero, Frank Vega, is no stranger to this. Upon returning home he learns that fitting in is no easy task. After being shunned by society and his childhood sweetheart, he is left to fend for himself. Forty years later and no longer the young dreamer he once was, a deplorable incident on a bus brings him back into the spotlight. But it isn't until his best friend is murdered that he begins the unyielding fight for justice that turns him into the Bad Ass.

I have a confession... Danny Trejo is the sole reason I watched this movie. We have that type of relationship where if he's in it, I'll watch it. Because c'mon... he's a bad ass! And speaking of Bad Ass, if you hadn't already guessed by the no-holds-barred-title, this is a movie I lovingly classify "awesomely bad." So yeah, that should say a lot right there. It's a shame, really, that Trejo's not one of the more well-known action stars of today because he genuinely is a total BAD ASS. I mean, he's no spring chicken and he's still got some seriously impressive moves. I kind of adore him despite his choice in doing awesomely bad and just plain bad movies.

Just look at that face!

Bad Ass is one of those vigilante justice titles much like Grand Torino or The Brave One. I guess the biggest difference is that it takes on a more casual tone and lacks the depth and insight that most movies of this genre do. And it's not to say that Bad Ass is bad necessarily, it definitely makes a point, only it does so with a little less finesse than the others. And I have to give them credit because there's only so much that ass-kicking can make up for when you're working with a subpar screenplay.

One of the prerequisites for obtaining Nikki's seal of "awesomely badness" is that a movie must NOT take itself too seriously. So yeah, Bad Ass definitely doesn't. In fact, there are enough well-timed quips of comedy to make it enjoyable and tone down on the seriousness. It's also notable to mention that the comedy here outshines many of the cliched puns used in action flicks today. They might not be smart but they're original. Bad Ass has a good mix of action, comedy and drama so it never gets stale. And yes, I don't deny that there is a bit of the cheese factor to the movie, however, it's got a decent message at it's core so I'm willing to overlook all that. Plus, it's Danny Trejo and I heart him. 

Read this article and you'll understand why.



Image via

Summary Prognosis

If I had only two words to describe Bad Ass they would be: "awesomely bad." I bet you thought I was gonna say bad ass, right?! Well it's that, too! While not the savviest movie in the revenge department, it's not a total loss thanks to its explosive action and well-timed comedy. It's a fun and likeable and gets the point across without being to heavy handed or serious. And if anyone could get me a bad ass theme song like the one in Bad Ass, I'll give you 100 cool points. Because it's AH-MAZING. K, awesome.


Rating: ★★★


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Movie Review: Strippers vs Werewolves by Jonathan Glendening

Title: Strippers vs Werewolves
Director(s): Jonathan Glendening
Genre(s): Comedy, Horror
Rating: R
Release Date (UK only): April 27, 2012

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Strippers? Werewolves? Really? You must be crazy! Yes, as a matter of fact, I am kind of crazy--- crazy in love! For reals, folks. This is no laughing matter. Actually, that’s not true because there’s quite a bit of elicited laughter when you watch a bunch of scantily clad pole dancers blow away a pack of hairy man-beasts. But in all seriousness, this movie was one of those special rarities that caught me by surprise with how legitimately entertaining it was. Remember that time I rated a book on the awesomely bad scale? Yeah, Strippers vs Werewolves is kinda like that. It’s one of those rare gems that’s so terrible; it becomes, in fact, awesome. Look, don’t try to fight it. It’s science, people. 

Let me just preface the rest of this review by noting that over Thanksgiving, I was super ill. Thusly, I spent the bulk of my holiday bed-ridden and in a Nyquil/Benadryl induced haze, instantly rendering Neflix my new BFF. And being in such a drugged stupor, things like Strippers vs Werewolves starts to sound like a really good idea. And much to my Kleenex-loving delight, it was! Just know that going in, it’s better to eliminate any expectations and take the movie at face value because, c’mon, the plot revolves around strippers and werewolves. Hey! They’re English strippers! Naturally they’re a step above their American counterparts because anyone with an English accent is, by default, classier. Anyway, the plot is as the title describes—strippers versus werewolves. More specifically, a stripper accidentally murders a werewolf so his pack decides to deliver swift justice upon them all. Only they didn’t gamble on the fact that one of the stripper’s boyfriends is a Van Helsing of sorts and he equips our busty ladies with some serious firepower to fight back. And you better believe they fight back in the most epic and half-naked of ways. 

It quickly becomes clear that director, Jonathan Glendening, knew exactly what he was doing. This movie is purposefully over-the-top, ridiculous and yet still frequently funny. The cheese factor is high but that’s what endears it to my heart even more. I especially appreciated the references to the 80’s classic, The Monster Squad, which was very unexpected. And for those of you with a keen eye, you’ll notice an homage to other cult horror movies in there as well, which is totally cool. But, by far, the best thing about it was the cameos. 

Remember her? Yeah, she's in the movie too!

I am a HUGE movie freak so when I see appearances by Robert Englund (aka Freddy Kreuger), Alan Ford (Snatch) and Lysette Anthony (Dracula: Dead and Loving It), I get really excited. Like, irrationally so. And while some may fault Glendening for his choice of old school make-up effects, this is where I give him applause. Traditional monster make-up is a dying art, one that I can still appreciate more than the overly-used, cartoonish CGI we usually see in B-list horror. Of course, the movie isn’t without fault either. I think Glendening was trying too hard at times for that ‘artsy’ sort of feeling with all the jump cuts and slow-motion, but it is what it is. Overall, it surprisingly hit the mark and exceeded my low-brow expectations. And when you’re sick, you can’t ask for much more than that! 

Summary Prognosis 

Strippers vs Werewolves is definitely not going to win the Oscar, like ever, but it certainly maintains merit in terms of entertainment value. A comedy masked as horror, it’s somewhat crass, campy and a bit fun! This movie is a crowd pleaser for those of you who can get down with movies that don’t take themselves too seriously. If anything, it’s fun to watch for the cameos, alone. FYI: being completely doped up on Nyquil doesn’t hurt either! 


Rating: ★★★½ 


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Book Review: The Hunt for Atlantis by Andy McDermott

Title: The Hunt for Atlantis Author(s): Andy McDermott
Genre(s): Action, Adventure, Historical Fiction
Publisher/Date: Headline Hardbacks / June 12, 2008
Series: Nina Wilde & Eddie Chase (Book #1)

“Adventure stories don't get much more epic than this” – Mirror

Case Study

Archaeologist Nina Wilde has a theory, a theory that could finally prove the existence of the legendary city, Atlantis. But that’s not all—if Nina’s theory is right, she will be able to pinpoint the city’s actual location. Here’s the catch—somebody knows about Atlantis, a certain brotherhood that doesn’t want its location to ever be found. With the help of an ex-SAS bodyguard and a billionaire heiress, Nina and her team set out on an action-packed roller-coaster ride to find the lost city. It’s a race around the world and against time as they fight for their lives and for eachother. From the streets of New York to jungles of Brasil to the mountains of Tibet, the hunt for Atlantis leads them to an 11,000 year old secret that could destroy all of mankind as they know it. Professional pride is on the line but so are their lives. Who lives? Who dies? And moreover, who can be trusted? 

The Game's Afoot

Andy McDermott is one of those authors that I go to time and time again and The Hunt for Atlantis is one of my favourite books. I’ve read it, like, a lot. So much so that my paperback copy runs the risk of disintegrating at any moment. It’s that good. Now let me preface my review by saying, this isn’t one of those books with a lot of deep, philosophical musings. This wasn’t crafted by an otherworldly literary prowess. No. It won’t be on high school reading lists anytime soon, that I can promise you. The Hunt for Atlantis is without a doubt, none of those things. What it is, though, is an explosive, in-your-face adventure novel. It’s what I like to refer to as “awesomely bad.” As in, it’s so bad it’s amazing. I tend to save this classification for those special books/movies that don’t tend to take themselves too seriously. You know the ones—they won’t be winning the Oscar or Pulitzer anytime soon. They sit back, relax and suddenly punch-you-in-the-face with how amazingly, unexpectedly great they are. Yeah. They’re my favourite kind. So if you can get down with that type of reading then grab a brewski and pound it hard and quick because we're going for quite a ride! 

What I love most about McDermott’s writing style is that it’s high impact and cinematic. When I read his stories I can picture the scenes exactly as if I were watching them on the big screen. I can safely compare it to one of those big-budget summer blockbuster hits, like Transformers, only not sucky. The Hunt for Atlantis is a fast-paced thrill ride with non-stop exploits and insurmountable intrigue. McDermott does a great job of contrasting the action against the mystery behind the search for Atlantis. He’s woven enough historical fact into the narrative to provide wonder without letting the story become a dull history lesson, though it is important to note, his main focus is on the adventurous parts. If I had to put a classification to it, it would be something like Indiana Jones meets director, John McTiernan. And yes, while some of the more gratuitous action is a tad unbelievable (i.e.- a motorcycle driving out of the back of an airplane), the book’s quick pacing makes it easy to overlook the cheese-factor. I find it hard to be too critical so long as you pick it up and know exactly what’s in store for you. 

And then there are the characters. Don’t get me wrong, I love me a kick-ass heroine but that’s not Nina Wilde. Don’t worry! I’m okay with this. Sometimes I want to see a normal archaeologist who doesn’t know how to wield a whip for a change. Sometimes there’s a need for a damsel in distress. It happens. It’s perfect because this is where my favourite character, ex-SAS bodyguard Edward Chase comes in. Oh god, I love me some Eddie. He’s bullish, he’s tough, he’s crude and he’s English. That’s my kinda man. I’d cast a very strapping Jason Statham to play Chase. The man delivers god-awful puns (are there any better kind?) for god’s sake! He’s sooooo amazing. And the tension between him and Nina is so palpable it had me stopping to fan myself like a dainty Southern belle in heat. Oh, let’s be honest here. That’s exactly what I was sans the adorable Southern drawl. Eddie Chase melts me into a tingly puddle of not-so-ladylike-thoughts all the time and I just love him. And Nina too. Oh, buggeration and fuckery. Hugs all around! 

I could seriously go on and on about how crazy this book is but I’ll spare you all and sum it up in a few words: The action. Nonstop. The characters. Amazeballs. The story. Gut-punching. In short, this is like the Die Hard of the book world—utterly ridiculous but explosively fun! End scene. 

Summary Prognosis

While The Hunt for Atlantis isn’t scholarly writing by any means, it’s got enough energy to overlook that fact. If you want a quick read that’s full of action, adventure and unbelievably cinematic scenes, I guarantee you; this is the right book for you. It’s a gut-busting-explosive-moments kind of story and I totally dig that shit. 


Rating: ★★★★★


Read It: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Audible 
Discuss It:  Goodreads | Author's Website